Being a Teacher

Teaching has never been an easy task. This is my first year so I have been under a lot of adjustments. There were times when I wanted to give up, quit the fight, and just walk out of this because I’m not being me anymore. I am not used to changing the way I act and the way I am so that students would follow my orders. Since I am not a control freak, my belief is that students will and should follow the teacher’s orders and directions from the heart. It should not just be a matter of I-should-do-this-because-I-am-scared-of-the-teacher act. There were many times that I become the evil I refuse myself to become because the class I am handling is the notorious and infamous. And that is the worst experience I had. It consumed me in a way that made me indifferent, insensitive, harsh, and heartless.

On Being Kind

My students used to tell me I am so kind. I guess I am but I put my kindness in place. The students I am facing are also human beings; they also have a heart and they can also be hurt by harsh words. I don’t want them to experience the teacher’s verbosity when it comes to giving sermons. I have taught them to be sensitive to the teacher’s mood and feelings so that they will not be in trouble.

These students say they love me. Yes, I do believe them. I feel it especially when I am having my class and I am facing them while they are looking at me with eyes twinkling and telling me, “Ma’am, you are bringing us into another world.” And right at that moment, I know I have fulfilled my goal as a teacher - to let the students think beyond the context of the lesson and bring themselves into another world where they will ask themselves, “Am I still trying to learn a lesson?”

On Being a Second Mother

I became a mother of 41 in an instant. I just graduated from college and here I am dealing with my 41 children inside one classroom, eight hours a day for five days a week. I can say that that is one heck of a week and one heck of a school year. At first, I can’t believe it myself. The class is a mix of different species of animals all wanting to live. Everyone wanted to eat each other to survive. It was a boxing match with 41 boxers in one ring at a time. It was an American Football League where everyone is a quarterback. It was a wrestling match where 41 people are vying for the championship. And in all those fights, battles, and games, I have always been the referee. It was a tough battle but I have managed everything with the help of the Almighty.

Feedback from Students

At the end of the school year, my requirement for all my students is an essay telling what they have learned in English that they can apply in real-life and their reflections about the classes we had. I got a lot of feedback and a lot of realizations after reading their essays. One student wrote, “…even [when] you caught me not listening, I am honestly telling you that that’s my favorite part.” This made me realized that not all students do things inside the classroom because they want to, but they do things inside the classroom because they want the teacher’s attention.

Another student wrote, “I’m pushing you [to] your limits since the class started. I eat, play, listen-not, and even answer weird stuff on your questions.” And so I've been put under a certain test since then. I can say that the student who wrote this once started getting on my nerves but, luckily, I have not reached the point of outburst. Understanding is a key to a harmonious relationship with the students. They still have hormonal imbalance at this time so I guess it’s natural for them to be testing their teachers and pushing them to their limits.

            Other remarks that are worth pondering are the following:

• “She isn't one of those teachers [who] will give their all just to be liked by the students.” I admit it. I wanted to be liked by my students at the beginning of the school year. But as weeks and months went by, I have changed my perspective. My view now is that whether you like me or not as a teacher, you have to like me because I will teach you something you can use in your life.
• “What’s good in your subject is that I do not have to memorize.” First and foremost, the subject doesn't require memorization. And I will not require it either because I know that what the students memorize now will be temporal. I haven’t enjoyed memorization either. Understanding and application in real-life situations is my concept of essential learning.
• “…taught us that being serious directs our eyes to focus on what’s only in front of you and not the other things around you.” I believe that teaching the students to look at the bigger picture will always help them discover different ways to solve the problems they are and will be facing.
• “This class will not force you to learn but it will help you to understand.” I am very glad that the students saw that little part of my teaching. Students are newly molded pots. Once you pound on them real hard, they will break.
• A teacher who “[teaches] students ‘how’ to think than ‘what’ to think.” Metacognition is a subject I am very fascinated about. Letting the students know their process of thinking will help them understand more the lessons they are learning. It’s a way to help them look at things with a different perspective.
• “…a teacher who didn't give us temporary learnings but lifetime teachings.” For me, it’s just a mix of realism, essentialism, and perennialism. I should teach the students what is real, what is essential and what they can use through a lifetime.

Teaching English to these students is an honor. I got to touch their lives in a simple way and they got to touch mine too. I didn't feel like a teacher. It’s as if I've been back to high school to learn the things I should have learned before. And I can say that I am honored to be a partner of these students in learning.

What I Learned

Teaching is a matter or learning the things you have not yet encountered and re-learning the things that you have already forgotten. I have indeed learned a lot of things this year and I can say that those things helped me to grow and to develop myself as an individual and as a teacher.