WHY?

Why?

I always tell people that my life question is “how”. But, recently, I found myself asking a lot of whys.

Why?

I don’t usually ask this question because I feel like I don’t need to know the reason. Because I know that whatever answer I get from asking, I will still do what I am told to do, if it is not against my principle.

Why?

Instead of asking why, I’d rather ask “how” because I believe that if I know how to do something, the reason behind doing so would appear to me. And that is the only time for me to believe or not to believe the reason I am told.

But today let me ask myself this simple but sometimes horrifying question.

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Why?

Why did this come to this point? This is not the life you have envisioned. This is not your goal. This point of your life should have been buried to the deepest part of this world and should have been guarded by a savaged beast which would always be ready to risk its life just to protect the secret you have been hiding all along.

Why?

Why did you let all these things to happen? First and foremost, you should have been the one taking over when no one else does. You should have been the one to make things right. But what happened?

Why?

Why did you distance yourself too much that you didn’t know how to reach out again? Everything feels out of place because you shut yourself out from people. You have this unique talent of shutting people out then feeling alone without realizing that what you have been experiencing was created by none other than your own self. You do really have a lot of trust issues because of the circumstances then, but you should not imprison yourself. There’s a lot more to life than this.

Why?

Because all along, you wanted the people around you to notice you – to notice how much effort you have put to something, to notice how much you did to improve yourself, to notice how much you strived just to be noticed.

Why?

Because you just want to quit whenever you don’t feel like you are being you anymore.

Why?

Because you can’t admit to yourself that you are a quitter.

Why?

Because you are you. And you should be happy about that.